The holiday season can be joyful and meaningful, but it can also feel exhausting—especially if you’re pregnant or caring for a new baby. On top of physical changes, sleep disruption, and a changing family structure, the added pressure of gatherings, traditions, and expectations can be physically and emotionally taxing.
Many pregnant and postpartum people find it surprisingly hard to ask for help, especially if they’re used to managing a lot on their own. If that sounds like you, there is nothing wrong with needing more support right now. Pregnancy and the postpartum period are intense and it’s normal to need more care than usual.
When you receive steady, meaningful support, you’re more likely to get better sleep, stay more nourished, and heal physically at a healthier pace. Having help also makes it easier to notice when something doesn’t feel right emotionally. This can lead to earlier identification of Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) and more timely care. Supporting your mental health in this way protects your capacity to connect with your baby, which is essential for their development and for your confidence as a parent.
One of the most important ways to safeguard your mental health is to treat support as essential, not optional. That might mean simplifying holiday plans, letting go of “shoulds,” and allowing yourself to ask for—and accept—help. For many who are highly capable and used to being the one others lean on, this can feel uncomfortable at first. But needing support does not mean you’re failing; it’s often a reflection of your strength and your awareness of what truly matters.
Simplifying your expectations is an act of self-compassion. During the holidays, you might choose one or two meaningful traditions instead of trying to recreate every detail of years past. You might decide not to host, or to order in instead of cooking from scratch. You might give yourself permission to leave events early or to skip some altogether so you can rest.
Advocating for yourself means saying what you need out loud—letting loved ones know that your energy is limited, that you may not be able to travel, host, or stay late, and that your priority this season is your health and your baby’s well-being. This isn’t selfish; it’s a way of respecting what your body and mind are going through. For many who pride themselves on being “the capable one,” asking for help and setting limits is actually a brave, unfamiliar kind of strength.
Support doesn’t have to look a certain way. It might come from a partner or co-parent, parents or in-laws, siblings, close friends, or chosen family. It might also include professionals, such as a doula, lactation educator, nurse, therapist, new parent support group, pediatrician, OB-GYN, or primary care provider. Your culture, family structure, and past experiences will shape who feels safe and supportive for you.
What matters most is taking a moment to identify who you can lean on—and then allowing yourself to lean. That might mean saying “yes” when someone offers to bring dinner, asking a friend to hold the baby while you shower, or letting a family member entertain older children so you can rest. When you let others help, you’re not giving up control of your life; you’re sharing the load so you don’t have to carry everything alone.
In practical terms, protecting your energy this holiday season might mean saying “no” to hosting events or cooking large meals, and allowing others to take the lead instead. You might ask visitors to bring meals, help with dishes, or pick up groceries on their way over. You may decide to limit visiting hours, or be clear that naps and bedtimes need to be honored—even if that means leaving an event earlier than usual or asking for holiday dinners to happen earlier in the day.
These choices aren’t about being demanding; they’re about aligning your plans with your current reality. Whether your body is changing or healing, or you’re preparing for a new baby or your baby is adjusting to the world, you and your family are in a season of transition. Your needs are valid, and it’s okay for the holidays to look different this year.
If you’d like additional support with therapy or psychiatry, Foresight’s Maternal Mental Health Program offers specialized care for pregnancy and postpartum, and your first visit can often be scheduled within the same week. Reaching out is an act of strength—for you, your baby, and your family. To learn more about the program, CLICK HERE.
About the author: Emiko Maruri is a psychiatric nurse practitioner providing perinatal care to patients in the Maternal Mental Health Program at Foresight. She has 10+ years working as a nurse with perinatal patients and has a certification in Perinatal Mental Health from Postpartum Support International (PSI). She also serves as a PSI Support Coordinator for Long Beach and surrounding areas.
